I feel like I´m learning so much and have changed a lot, but I still feel like there´s so much more that I need to change that is holding me back. I still feel like I don´t know how to be a missionary. In fact, this week I felt like a bad missionary. I got sick this week and we had to stay in one day. So I had a lot of time to reflect. I worry that I don´t put all my heart into the work and the area and that I lack love. The next day I told my companion that I felt like a bad missionary! I prayed in our companionship prayer before we left that we could feel like we were doing the will of God and feel like useful instruments.
That day was incredible! Un menos activo (Omar, quien recién volvío) nos acompanó y su testimonio es tannnnnn poderoso. because he left the truth for a while, it is so much sweeter now that he has it back and he can compare the two different lifestyles. En una leccion con David they started sharing their stories. Omar was baptized at 16 and was an excellent member (leader of YSA y todo) until 19. He started taking some other decisiones, then some bad decisiones and then stopped going to church and fell away. He said the missionaries visited and invited him to come to church but he said no. With tears in his eyes he told us that he felt like God didn´t love him at that time, and that he couldn´t come back. Then one day he met Hermana López y yo. We set up a cita and passed by to visit. He remembered very clearly the words we said that night that "It is never too late. God always loves you and will always forgive us whenever we sincerely repent" These words were clave. The Spirit carried them to his heart and he agreed to come with us Sunday. The next Tuesday he had an interview with the bishop. He was so happy to be back and to feel like love of God in his life again and to taste His mercy. When he finished sharing he expressed how grateful he was because other missionaries tried but it wasn´t until he met us that he had the courage to volver. I felt so humbled to be such a powerful tool in the hands of the Lord. Before Omar shared his testimony I never knew how much we had helped in his process!
David también compartió como conocieron uno y otro y los milagros que pasaron. He was so so thankful for us as well. It was such an answer to my prayer and a testimony builder to have this neat experiencia. I could see that we were helping people and I thought how ridiculous it would seem to them if they knew I was thinking that morning that I wasn´t doing a good job as a missionary.